Klassik Komedy from OpenBSD subject logo: UNIX
2008-10-18
Posted by: badanov

I don't know about the OS being dead, I've used it for many years.

But there's another side to OpenBSD most geeks don't realize, I'll relate my experiences here.

Many years around the early 2.x releases I read until my eyes were bleeding about OpenBSD. The ferocity towards 'noob' questions on the lists was legendary, even back then. I bought a copy of the CDs and installed it a Pentium I had.

The next morning when I woke up I felt something odd around my nether-regions.

My penis had grown at least 10 cm (4") overnight, and that was just in girth. I was hung like a stallion.

Staggering to the bathroom for a shower I saw in the mirror that my facial features looked more chiselled, for lack of a better word. My jaw was prominent. Then I realized I lost all my geek belly fat.

I hadn't looked that good since I was 20.

Hoping into the shower I was lathering up and I smelled mint coming from somewhere. Wasn't the soap, wasn't the shampoo. What the hell? I realized then that the smell was coming from under my nose.

OpenBSD even made my breath minty fresh. Permanently. I threw away my toothbrush several days later.

I don't need to tell you about what happened with my Holmesian nether-regions but a few hints: peanut butter, latex gloves, cloven hooves.

OpenBSD made me what I am today.

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